Life

My true story. With God in my soul and his incredible help.

I am sharing my true story because of a situation that happened to me and is associated with my faith in God Almighty…

It so happened that the concept of “Chernobyl victims”, I had to learn through my own experience. I am Ukrainian. My family was gone in 3 terrible years after the fatal explosion. My 42 years old husband, my dear mother-in-law, and my beloved mother all passed away. My father then dies three  years after them, and then I was diagnosed with breast cancer. God forbid for someone else to find out what it is like at 35, with 2 young children and just 9 months after your husband’s funeral.

The level of our medicine back then, to me, was questionable, surgery, radiology and an early death. Because of what happened to my family, I know better than to believe “proud statements” of the Soviet medicine about its “high level.” Maybe it was good for our presidents, ministers and their families, but not for an ordinary Soviet citizens.

After my diagnosis and examination with 7 doctors, they gave me 1 month to arrange for proper care of my kids, and then I had to undergo surgery in an oncological hospital, with no guarantees!
Luckily, my oncologist doctor was my good old friend. She also was the Head of the Hospital’s Oncology Department, and because of that I was treated with special attention. Because I have a degree in child’s psychology, some time ago she wanted me to work in a pediatric oncology.

I do not recall how I got home after the diagnosis, nor that I called my closes friend. I wept with her until late at night, and after she left I  had feelings of fear, grief, and  hopelessness. I layed my head on the carpet and soon passed out. I woke up from a soft touch and when looked up, I saw my kids, my daughter, 14 years old, and my 6 year old son. My daughter looked at me with her eyes full of tears and frantic grief, and my son’s eyes had a look like he did not understand anything, being just awaken after sleep.

I remember my daughter said, “Mom, you need to fight, do not give up. You’re the only one we have left. I know you can, you’re strong!”. And the tears were streaming from her eyes. My son looked up at me with his frightened eyes and said, “Mom, do not die, I’ll always brush my teeth and listen to you”, for which he immediately received a slap from his sister. “Our mother will not die, do not even think like that!”, she said. Of course, I reassured them by saying I’m not going to die, and sent them to bed. After that I got on my knees … and started praying. I had never done it before that, and besides, it was unacceptable at my managerial position.

By our human nature, when a situation in our life brings us to complete hopelessness, and we are in despair with no one to help… instinctively, at the level of our subconscious, we turn to God. The same thing happened to me. I realized that no one other than Him can help me. Besides, a maternal instinct would push a mother to anything just to help her children.

On a subconscious level, I slipped down to my knees and started to ask God passionately to give me at least a little more time to raise my daughter, so she herself could take care of her brother. From his very birth she cared for him dearly. I promised God to help anyone who is in need of my help ever, as a person and as a psychologist.

Never in my life had I wished so badly for Lord to come into my heart! Never had I believed in Him more than that ill-fated evening. I prayed so hard that I became oblivious and everything was swimming before my eyes… I do not remember when and how I came to myself, but it was due to a strong idea of what I should do. It was chilling to my marrow and I could not get rid of it. It was … “God’s healing power” which appeared over my head in the form of a golden ball of fire that I had to kindle in my breasts and “burn out” my tumors with it. I was doing it for the rest of the night and went to sleep for a couple of hours in the morning and then went to work … And I continued doing so for a month.

A month passed very quickly, I had been so busy with my “treatment” and I started to have confidence that I will be able to recover with the help of the Lord, because he had being helping me. It could not have been different!
I went back for a checkup before surgery and my doctor began again with X-rays. I saw her bewildered face and she suddenly invited again her colleagues who felt me, looked at the pictures of my first examination. They began to re-examine me, to say something in Latin.

The doctors looked at me the way that made me really very scared and I thought, “It did not work, the Lord did not help me”. My problem became even worse. A lump welled up in my throat, tears rolled down from my eyes… I had believed, I was praying, I was hoping so much… He did not hear me…”

Then I heard a question: “What did you do during this month?”
I said, “Nothing. Has my situation really got even worse?” To which she replied, “I do not know what you’ve being doing, but keep doing the same thing! There is nothing here! Your breasts are clean! It’s the first time I have ever seen anything like this.
I rushed home and in my head there was only one thought, “He heard me, he helped, GOD IS REAL!” Yes, the Lord is real and I know it for sure! He hears every one of us. We only need to give ourselves into his hands, and believe that He will help. Believe so strongly that no one and no power can dissuade you in it!

From that point on my life had changed dramatically. I began to attend church, and then I was called in to The Regional Department of Education, and because of that I was warned about the consequences … I had to resign and find another job that would not make me deny my faith and stop attending church. Also, I wanted to be able to tell others what happened with me.

Time calms emotions, but faith in your heart gives you confidence that you are not alone and gratitude to the One who created us.
When I moved to the United States 15 years ago, I had a very interesting story happening to me and I will tell you about that in my next story.
May God bless each of you who took the time to read my story and pondered about it …   

 Elena Reed